#HERstory with Mother Tree Wellness about Maternal Mental Health

Written By Hive Creative Group

May is Mental Health Awareness Month and Maternal Mental Health Awareness Month, and so for the next #HERstory post, we’re sharing the story of how two local therapists-turned-moms didn’t recognize their own maternal mental health challenges, and how they started a health coaching practice to help fill the void. Meet moms Holly Kennedy, LPC, PMH-C & Ellen Jones, M.Ed, PMH-C, who founded Mother Tree Wellness, a maternal wellness coaching practice here in Charlottesville.

 

“Even though we both had training in mental health counseling, we didn’t recognize our own PMADs (Perinatal Mood and Anxiety Disorders) at the time. Once we were on the other side, we asked ourselves what would have helped us navigate that hazy early motherhood time period with more ease.”

 

What experience(s) from becoming a mother led to creating Mother Tree Wellness?

So much about early motherhood was wildly different from what we’d expected, and because we didn’t know what we didn’t know, we thought motherhood was just that hard. Even though we both had training in mental health counseling, we didn’t recognize our own PMADs (Perinatal Mood and Anxiety Disorders) at the time. Once we were on the other side, we asked ourselves what would have helped us navigate that hazy early motherhood time period with more ease. We fixed that question on the horizon as we talked with other moms and practitioners and got certified in Perinatal Mental Health. We built Mother Tree Wellness (MTW) around the answers we found: Information, action, and connection. We offer frameworks that empower moms to make sense of the ups and downs and redefine expectations so that their incredible strengths and daily successes become more visible. We support moms in making space for small shifts in the day-to-day that have big ripple effects, and we create space for moms to build community with each other. 

Massachusetts General Hospital states that, "During the postpartum period, about 85% of women experience some type of mood disturbance." As mothers and mental health professionals, can you comment or elaborate on what this statistic means to you?  

This means a lot. To us, it means you are not alone; it means there are a lot of factors that contribute to this; and, it means that we need more information, support, and advocacy for moms. One of our favorite pioneers for understanding shifts in motherhood, Dr. Alexandra Sacks, uses the term “matrescence” to describe the transition that a woman goes through with pregnancy and becoming a mother similar to that of adolescence. “From a neuroscientific point of view, the emotions of matrescence are as much about chemical shifts in your brain as they are about the stuff that science can’t explain. Estrogen and progesterone are coursing through the receptors in your brain when you lose your temper with your mother, partner, and/or friends.”  We think this is powerful for trying to capture how disorienting the postpartum season can be and the importance of offering moms grace, space, and support.  

We also think this statistic highlights the need for a plan and system of people and resources that continually check-in with moms. Ideally, it would be great for a mother to create a postpartum care plan prior to giving birth so that she and others are familiar with what might be helpful or not so helpful, along with what resources and coping tools might be helpful to navigate this time. And, oftentimes, we don’t know what we want or need, especially when feeling out of sorts, so that’s always a good place to start. Who or what can you turn to when you don’t know what you need, but you aren’t feeling like yourself?

What are some misconceptions about perinatal mood disorders that you come across and wish you could help clear up?

We’re so glad you asked this question! We’re grateful to see conversations about PMADs becoming more common, and yet there’s still so much more to say. We’d love to clear up four misconceptions that come to mind right away:

First, PMADs are often discussed as “Postpartum Depression and Anxiety”, and yet there are other diagnoses under the PMAD umbrella as well: Perinatal Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, PTSD, bipolar disorder, and psychosis.

Second: PMADs are often associated with the first year after a baby is born, when in reality, PMADs can emerge anytime in the perinatal period, which ranges from pregnancy through the baby’s first two years or more.

Third: We often associate depression with sadness, and might envision someone who has trouble getting out of bed. Though this certainly can be true, perinatal depression and anxiety can also look like irritability and rage.

Finally, for those experiencing PMADs, it’s easy to feel very alone - like everyone else has it together, and you’re the only one struggling. As we can see from our conversation today, PMADs are extremely common. You’re not alone. 

We all hear "get enough sleep, meditate, eat well, exercise," as tips for improving mental health in general. Do you have any tips to help new moms realistically achieve these? (Are there any psychology tricks you can share for helping moms make these more achievable?)

We know it might be tempting to skim over this part because it seems too simple to actually be effective, but those basics, like sleep, food, water, connection…. They’re really some of the most important protective factors for new moms. I recall attending a training a few years ago by Postpartum Support International and this phrase has really stuck with me, “you have to put out the fire before you can rewire the house.” Unless we are taking care of our basic needs, it will likely feel very challenging to then attend to all the other parts of becoming a mother. So, we would say the first part is believing that basics are important and trying to prioritize these core elements of well-being.

Then, the question becomes how do we do that? A starting place might be the postpartum care plan, thinking ahead of time: What do I need, how can I focus on those basics, and who can help me? You probably see a trend emerging here - who can be part of this season? Contrary to what society and social media might portray, we are not wired to mother alone, and we all need a sense of community to really thrive. So, who can be part of your team? Think doctors, doulas, friends, family, colleagues, therapists, neighbors…bring in the whole village.

Finally, how to take action? Start small. Sometimes it’s about minor mental shifts. For instance, if trying to sleep as much as you can feels like too much pressure, then how might you redefine what “rest” looks like for you? It might just be small pockets of restoration here and there, and that can add up. Even when you don’t think you need to rest, “front load” it when possible.

We also love the idea of habit stacking. For instance, whenever I pour my coffee or reheat it (which is like 20xs a day), I combine that with taking 5 deep breaths. Combining something I am already doing with a “moment of me.”  Creating routines and rituals are also a good way of integrating wellbeing boosters and conserving energy. Working out 20 minutes a day might be tough with a baby right now, but could you stretch before bed or walk for 10 minutes before breakfast, lunch, and dinner?

Start small, feel the momentum, and build as energy and bandwidth allows.  One of our favorite phases along the way is “space and grace.” Allow yourself the space to heal and adjust and loads of grace for those messy moments. 

What are some blogs or social media accounts that you follow that you would recommend to new moms?

We always find that the absolute best resource for new moms is…other new moms! These recommendations come from the moms in our MTW community, all of which we follow, as well. 

A quick note: The internet can be an incredible resource for gathering information and connecting with others. It’s also so easy to get overwhelmed by the endless conflicting answers to any given question, which can lead us to feel more confused, less confident about how we want to approach any given situation, and can also leave us with a feeling like we’re doing something wrong or missing the secret perfect answer that we feel like others probably have. 

Even though there’s no secret perfect answer, there are plenty of answers that will work for you. It’s all about what’s right for you and your family, and that will look different for each family. We always tell moms to tune into their own voices before diving into baby-related research online or checking out parenthood blogs or social media. You can filter through what you read online (try setting a timer for this part, because we could scroll around on any given topic forever!), and choose what might feel aligned with your family. Then, you can try it out. If it sticks, great! If it turns out not to be a fit, that’s okay too. You can try out something else, or simply let the situation be for now and revisit it again later.

For websites and blogs, Emily Oster is a great one. She has a super informative and validating Substack newsletter. Babylist has been recommended as a great way to prevent falling down a rabbit hole of endless research when it comes to baby supplies. That endless research can leave us feeling even more confused and overwhelmed, and no closer to a decision. Many of our moms recommend starting with the Babylist guides, and then choosing an option that feels aligned with your family’s budget and goals. The Taking Cara Babies blog has helped a lot of our moms with baby sleep.

Now, onto Instagram: @Psychedmommy, @postpartumsupportinternational, @motherhoodunderstood, and of course our own @mothertreemoms for mom’s wellbeing, @Karrie_locher, @theformulamom, and @bemybreastfriend for feeding and postpartum mom care, and @feedinglittles and @solidstarts for introducing solids. We’re incredibly lucky to have so many great practitioners in our community that support new moms, including @womeninmotion_wellness for pelvic floor health and @sleepandwellnesscoach for sleep support. 

Can you share some local resources for mental health support that are free, low-cost or take insurance? 

There are so many wonderful resources right here in our community and, with the pivot to the virtual world, several amazing organizations offer an array of resources. To find therapists in your area that take your insurance, start by contacting your insurance company for a list of providers or talk with a medical professional. You may also find this search tool on Psychology Today helpful, as you can search by location, specialty, issues, and insurance. 

The following organizations also offer great information, discussion tools and checklists,  ideas for resources, support lines and virtual groups.  

About Mother Tree Wellness: Mother Tree Wellness is a maternal wellness coaching service in Charlottesville, VA  that offers virtual and in-person private and group coaching, as well as special workshops and events. Learn more about their offerings at https://www.mothertreewellnessgroup.com/faqs

Hive Creative Group https://hivecreativegroup.com
Previous

Pelvic Pain Awareness with Women in Motion
Next

Skin Care and Pregnancy